OK. This is how its been so far (my journey i mean, not my life, dont wanna put you off before we start!) Bruce (our li’l home on wheels) made it to the Alps. You have no idea how much this means to me. Basically, it means the start of my new life can move forward rather than having to retreat back home, tail between legs, whimpering for forgiveness to all those i spat in the face of and ran off assuming i’d never see them again. Phew! During our 4 or 5 day journey (i’ll explain in due course), we stayed in some pretty mad places in ol’ Bruce. Namely, and a photo of this will appear in due course, a parking space off a main road, shrouded in fog, resembling something out of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When i heard footsteps outside in the dead of night, it was all i could do to stop myself calling my boss and asking for my job old job back at 4 in the a.m. Anyways, other than the scene from a Romero movie, we stayed in town hall car parks and service station truck stops. On Thursday, i showered for the first time in 6 days! Ive been writing a li’l diary of events and just read the first line. It goes like this…”Whilst writing, Steve (my travel buddy) urinates in a bottle. I can see my breath without even breathing, its that cold. Gotta be minus 5 in here, yet we are excited and prepared for adventure”. Let me tell you, the excitement has abated somewhat due to the fact that that wasn’t our last experience of low temperatures, as everynight in the heart of Bruce, with Steve alternating between sniffing and snoring, as well as the occasional guff, the temperature has decsended to well below freezing. That means that it’s very cold. In fact, everything inside Bruce freezes. EVERYTHING!! Ever had iced milk on your cerials? Ever had to sit on your toothpaste for 20 minutes for it to defrost? Ever been too scared to get up in case your frosted nipples chafe against your ice’d vest and fall off? Ok, you get the message. Its cold. DAMN COLD!! But you know, in a funny sort of way, its part and parcel of adventure and at this moment, i wouldn’t change it for anything….. except for maybe some warm soup, a fireplace, running water, the safety of knowing my house isn’t about to be towed away by the authorities! Leaving Dover and seeing England departing ever further from the boat i was on felt like some kinda Goodbye i’ve never experienced. A finality that was self-induced and that felt like a re-union that would never evolve. My decision but few goodbye’s are forever, i must remember to myself. Oh Lord, i just remembered something slightly amusing. We stayed a night in St Dizier, named after Dizzy Rascal i’m sure, and we stumbled upon a bar/tabac (crazy li’l places that sell every type of tabacco and well expensive, crap beer. We entered and it was like that scene in American Werewolf in London when David and Jack enter the slaughtered lamb. I thought maybe Steve had taken his clothes off behind me and reversed in on all fours, the way we were greeted. Luckily, i didn’t mention the Alamo! Anyhoo, we get our double whiskeys, for we knew the events that would unfold back in Bruce (oo-er) and sat down amid middle aged soft rockers to be serenaded by a dvd of ZZ Top live in Texas! These mulleted dudes in this bar were rockin’ to ‘The Top’ like it was Saturday night… which it was, but still. Can you adam an’ eve it? ZZ Top at full blast and it wasn’t even an accident. Someone actually put it on and everyone was rockin off on’ it!! 2 things i learnt immediately after that episode. Never ever go to Texas. And fuck ZZ Top.